Monday mornig

Two days ago I decided I want to look at life in a better light, try to stay positive about it. Then a couple of hours later I spoke to my SO.

Why do we fall in love with people that tear you down. I love the guy, but I can't handle him lately. But I can't handle anyone lately.

You know, I think I realized what my problem is with this situation. I have now reached that point in my life where it suddenly hits me. I'm too young to settle down.

Wow I can't believe I realized that. But that must be it! I mean I'm freaking 22! I want to have casual sex, I want to flirt, I want to be free. But at the same time I want to know that I can all ways go back to someone who loves me and who will take me in.
But those situations don't exist in real life.

Man. I can't believe it took me so many years. My classmates went through this phase in their late teens (15-16 and so on) and some of them are already married and having children (too early imo but they do what they consider is best for them, I'm not judging them). And it took me 6 more years to realize, I want to enjoy life. I want to live before it's too late.

After living in Amsterdam for a year n half, and going through all the shit I went through, I realize now, I'm too young for this. No one is forcing me to go through it, so why am I forcing myself? I must be nuts. Hell, I probably am.

Why shouldn't a 22 year old, living at home, having most expenses paid for, even if we're not doing well financially, we're getting by (my family),  act her age. No one is expecting me to grow up around here, I could take my time, enjoy life.

Time to go to class, rant shall continue one of these days.

PS: I know I'm not 22 yet :P (but within the month I will be! )

Peace out!
Moo :P